Reindeer Recklessly Wreak Havoc on Families and Homes

Matteo Faucheux, Staff Writer

Reindeer are a staple at Christmas time, traveling from place to place, helping Santa deliver his presents. Most people think that there would be no Christmas without reindeer, but this is not the case. These flying beasts, recklessly speeding around the Earth, are truly menacing. Flying reindeer are not just bothersome; they are both a danger and a threat to society.

The song “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer” by Elmo and Patsy explains just how dangerous they are. The song is a realistic account of Grandma being run over by a reindeer. The song explains that Grandma died on Christmas. There was also some incriminating evidence that reindeer hoof tracks were found on the body. Not only was she hit, but it was also a hit and run, since the perpetrators did not even stay or call the police. They just left. Flying reindeer are murderers.

Flying reindeer are not just bothersome; they are both a danger and a threat to society.”

Reindeer not only pose a threat to people, they endanger planes as well. Santa’s sleigh is not equipped with radar and uses reindeer to travel from place to place. These reindeer roam free across the sky without following any regulations. They need a lot of speed to travel across the globe in one night, and they are not trackable via any means, so planes are in danger of having mid-air collisions. This is extremely dangerous and threatens the lives of thousands of people.

Reindeer are also a nuisance to the general population. Most houses cannot withstand reindeer on their roofs and their hooves cause a massive amount of property damage. Not only do they damage roofs, but they also destroy solar panels, causing power outages and large expenses to homeowners. In addition, reindeer are known to eat lots of carrots, initially left out with cookies for Santa on Christmas. After being ingested, this food has to be released back out again. This has become a problem for many people walking outside on Christmas. As Junior Sasan Ahadian explained, “One time, when I went out on Christmas, my neighbor got hit by reindeer poop. It hit him so hard that it knocked him out and I could smell him for a week after that.”

There are many people that would argue that without flying reindeer, Christmas could not happen because there would be no way to bring the presents to everyone. However, this is false. Today’s technology has allowed any package to be shipped across the world in record time, and if Santa would like his presents to reach the people, all he needs to do is use Amazon Prime. And this would be even easier if he had his own shipping company. Reindeer are not necessary to carry out the logistics of Christmas.

Flying reindeer have caused a lot of damage to society already and will inevitably cause a lot more. We cannot wait until the next accident happens and more property and people get hurt. This needs to be stopped now. People must unite and push the world’s governments to outlaw flying reindeer entirely and ban them from all countries so that Santa is forced to find a better and safer way to get his presents to the people. We all want to have a good Christmas, and when reindeer get banned, we will sleep easier, knowing that it will be safe.